Ask Wanda: For when you're feeling some type of way and need advice.

Dear Wanda,

I work and live within walking distance of Landlocked Bakery and take full advantage of this proximity. I seem to have gained weight. Should I care or just continue enjoying the deliciousness? I was raised in a fat-phobic household (my mother put me on diet pills when I was 11 but looking back on photos I can see I was an average size). I really want to embrace the body positivity idea and enjoy life (including food). But the old prohibitions against extra poundage run deep. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Locked In Old Thoughts

Dear Locked,

Let me just start by saying: you walked to the bakery, right? That is healthy choice number one in my book.

Weight is just a number on the scale. Is it trite to say, “It is how you feel?” Perhaps, but it’s true.

I am not a licensed therapist, but I have had enough therapy to be qualify for an honorary doctorate. “My mother put me on diet pills when I was 11” is enough for me to speculate that perhaps the roots of this issue run deep. We all have old baggage just sitting around in the childhood closet of our minds, waiting to be opened up, aired out, and put away permanently. It is not your fault that your mother projected her own insecurities about her body onto you, but it is your responsibility to address that violation and heal it from within. Admitting it aloud and seeking accountability partners is a brave first step!

Embracing life and enjoying food is the way to live. Why not live today as if it's your last (I don't mean to freak you out but it's true.) Bodies are a mere shell for our souls and although we have a responsibility to ourselves to maintain our machine as best as we can, we do not have a responsibility to be a part of a system that tells us we have to look a certain way, be a certain body type, or dictate what we do with our own bodies. If you want to eat a chocolate croissant four times a week, you are well within your right to do so, and you do not have to answer to anyone else, including your mother.

The real issues are the conflicting emotions that occur post consumption of food society considers unhealthy or a poor choice. Conflict in your brain can cause a metaphysical response in your body, and let’s face it, all the treats in the world aren’t worth the consequence of getting ill because your mind and body aren’t aligned.

Find the spot where you can feel you are living life to it’s fullest, embracing your body just as it is, and feel like you are caring for your mind, body, and spirit in equal measures. And, if that means undoing old trauma through seeking a counselor to begin therapy, addressing the issue with a current therapist, or healing yourself through re-routing the old thinking and incorporating the new thinking, then that is the optimal path to take.

Learning to love yourself just as you are is not an overnight accomplishment. It takes time to foster and grow. It took time to engrain the negative thoughts to begin with, and it will take time to eradicate them. In the meantime, eat a Coconut Horchata Donut for me, hold your head up high, and know you are lovely just as you are! Happy Growing!

Love always, Wanda

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